The Passing of Mom

Well, mom passed away on the 18th and we buried her on the 21st.  It was nice as far as funerals go.  I think she would have liked it (aside from the rain and cold).  There were a few more people than I thought would have been there.  Many of the out of town relatives showed up.  Dad held up well during the whole thing.

Mom wasn't a fancy person.  She didn't want many things or want to travel much.  She was always comfortable being at home.  Her early ambitions in life were to be a good wife, a good mother and a good friend.  She succeeded at all three.

She was a devoted and loving wife.  She only wanted to be with dad all the way up to the end.  Even when it became a bit annoying to my dad, she would not want him out of her site for more than five minutes.

Mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's a couple of years ago.  She was only 70 years old at the time.  During that time she was also diagnosed with MDS, a blood disorder that affected her bodies ability to produce mature red blood cells and platelets.  She was getting more and more frequent blood transfusions to keep her blood cell count up.

The Alzheimer's effected her speech the most.  It frustrated her at first when she couldn't think of the words she wanted to say.  It gradually got worse, saying the wrong words, stuttering.  Conversations became short and simple with her; weather, birds, squirrels (she loved animals).  Complex conversations as well as talking over the phone were almost impossible.  She was anxious all of the time about almost everything.  She constantly checked the doors to make sure they were locked.  Luckily she only wondered out of the house twice.  The neighbors brought her back once.  The other time she was just sitting out on the front porch.

As I said, mom loved animals, almost any kind of animal.  She could watch the birds, squirrels and chipmunks for hours at the cottage.  She was so proud when she got a chipmunk to eat seed out of her hand.  She had a couple of dogs growing up and we had a number of cats when I was going up.  She watched all kinds of animal shows on TV.  She hated the water but got in so that she could be next to a dolphin.

Mom couldn't really cook.  She cooked everyday making dinner and having it ready when my dad got home.  She just didn't really like to cook and most meals were rather bland with overcooked vegetables.  She always made enough to satisfy the hungry boys a the table.  I really liked her spaghetti and meatballs, she made the best sauce.  She had to change her recipe after my dad was told he needed to change his diet and it was never the same.  Although I asked a few times, she never gave me the recipe.  Frankly, I think she didn't have it written down anywhere and just knew how to make it.  Every Easter she wold make a big batch of perogies, it took all day.  They were big and delicious.  My grandmother, on my dads side, taught her how to make them.  She had to make a few different kinds of Polish dishes for my dad.  Not liking most of the dishes herself, she had to be making them out of love for him.

Mom hated the water.  I asked my dad why and he said he didn't know, other than she did not like to go in it and only got in above her knees a couple of times in her life.  I don't think she liked to wear bathing suits either as I can't remember her in one more than a couple of times.

Mom used to smoke until one of her lungs partially collapsed and had to be be removed (the collapsed part).  Then she stopped.  I remember once she was on our front porch smoking and talking with a neighbor.  My brother and I had just come back from playing out in the woods.  She noticed he had a tick and she used the lit end of her cigarette to help remove it from his head (heat makes them release their grip she said).  She had all kinds of home remedies for things.  After quitting, she took up snacking and got a bit heavy.  She absolutely hated that.  She took up crocheting to keep her hands busy.  She crocheted all kinds of things, mostly throw blankets.  She would sit in her chair watching TV and crochet most nights.

She hated going to the doctor, must be where I got it from, even before she got sick.  She never really got regular check-ups.  She rarely went to the dentist unless her teeth really bothered her.  She thought it was great when she got dentures, she wouldn't need to go to the dentist as often.

Mom liked to think of herself as a good disciplinarian.  She had her wooden spoon that she always threatened to hit us with if we didn't listen or do what she wanted us to do.  I never really remember getting hit with that spoon but she always had it handy.  When my brother and I came home all covered in mud, she made us strip down to our under ware in front of my younger sister before going into the house, embarrassing.

Mom worked at JCPenny's in the returns department.  She loved that job.  She was able to see what was coming back to the store and go through it looking for good items to purchase at the return, company employee, discount.  Some stuff wasn't really worth getting but she just couldn't pass up the great bargain.  I think she really enjoyed bringing home some money, even though most of it went right back to the store.

She was a good mother.   She kept us fed, clothed and on track with all of our activities.  She had been playing the part of mother for most of her life ever since her own mom died.  She ended up having to take care of her two younger brothers while going to school and after getting married.  She never went to college, I'm not sure she really wanted to.

I never really talked to my mom about her dreams and aspirations growing up.  It need really crossed my mind.  She always just seemed like she was content living the life she was and really didn't need much of anything else.

Thanks for being there and for all you did for us kids.  It was always good to know that you were there and that we could always count on you.  I never said it enough but I love you.

My Thoughts on Greed

I don't feel that greed is inherently bad.  I believe it may be one of the keys to our survival.  The idea of wanting more and more to make sure that we will always have enough.  I think the problem may come from understanding what is enough and what we truly need enough of.  Greed for greeds sake, I believe is a bad thing and only leads to destruction.  Greed for things that are not really essential, for me that includes money, also only leads to destruction.  I believe that the latter, destructive side of greed, is what gets discussed more often and listed as one of the deadly sins in the Christian bible.

I thought about this topic while watching squirrels collect and bury their food around my backyard.  They grab as much as they can, going fact time and time again getting whatever food they can, eating most of it but occasionally burying some.  It seems that they never seem to have enough.  I can understand eating everyday but the burying seems to be beyond that.  It's like they have a need to be 'greedy' based on surviving.  I think the thing I don't know is does all that burying help in the days ahead.  Do the squirrels remember where they bury all this stuff?  If not, do they just assume that they will be able to run across it later.  Are they thinking that no other squirrel or animal will find what they hide?

If they never find or go back to what they have hidden then they are just removing food that they could or another squirrel could eat.  This view would lead to a negative few of greed since it benefits no one and if fact could be very detrimental to the squirrel and the immediate animals that may need that food.

So a conclusion can be made that greed can be considered bad if it doesn't get used and is only hoarded away never to be seen again.

Up Your Pipeline

So I'm sitting here thinking about the new TransCanada pipeline plan, Keystone XL, that is designed to go from the "oil rich" sand fields in Canada to oil refineries in the US Gulf of Mexico.  What a great idea!  They estimate about 20,000 jobs will be created in the US by doing this.  It will bring needed oil to the US (although still imported) to help contain (we'll never see lower) gas prices.  It all sounds just like something we need right now.  That may be the problem with the plan though, its narrow focus on jobs today, gas prices today with no tomorrow in mind.  Immediate actions with no long range equal but opposite reactions being considered.

The first thought that comes to my mind is that this pipeline will be an even bigger target for terrorist threats than the World Trade Center ever was.  It runs through 5 states on its way down to the gulf.  My guess is that 19,000 of the 20,000 jobs being created are in the security business.  The other 1,000 will be in the pipeline maintenance business.  Yes, this pipeline will not only be vulnerable to all kinds of manmade catastrophes (read attacks) but natural disasters, mechanical failures and time.

Anytime the flow of oil is disrupted in the pipeline, for what ever reason, gas prices will increase disproportionately.  Think about it, they shutdown the flow of oil for maintenance, prices go up a little (and don't pretend they won't).  There is a brake in part of the pipe or a pump, prices go up again.  Canada, like Russia, may decide to slow the flow of oil or shut it down completely for a period of time.  Gas prices would skyrocket.  I'm curious as to what the actual deal is that is being made with Canada to allow this to happen.  Do they get petroleum products imported back to them at some hugely discounted rate?  I'm assuming it isn't just one company doing business with another, it's more of a government doing business with another government thing.

Let's bring up that idea of the pipe breaking on its own or by the hand of some idiot trying to make an idiots point.  Not only will it create an increase of prices at the pump but it will also cause environmental issues around the area of the break.  What if that idiot decides to create a huge torch out of the pipeline like they did in the Kuwaiti oil fields.  All it would take is one successful attack on the pipeline and it will be deemed impossible to secure (just like our borders are today) and eventually shut down.

Canada may end up being the most detrimentally impacted out of this venture then anyone.  Again, in the short term view, this may look like a big boon for the Canadian economy but at what cost to them environmentally.  The earth has a tremendous capacity to heal itself over time.  Sometimes they are over very long periods of time.  Like the time it takes to decompose and compress vegetation, flesh and bone into something burnable.

Put effort into renewable energy resources.  There is a potential for way more than 20,000 jobs, I think the Administration quoted 100,000, if there is a national effort put into it.  Nobody can fly a plane into the sun or blow up the wind or stop the earth from generating its own thermal energy.

Now I'm not smart by any stretch of the imagination but even I can see disaster coming from a million miles away on this one.  This is just not a good idea.

And I Helped

It has been so dang hot this summer. If I don't get my outside work done earlier than 9am, then it's just too hot outside to work. I live in the south and I understand it is supposed to get pretty hot in the summer but not this early and for this long.

Scientists say that the severe weather we've been having is due to the higher temperatures and they also say it's going to continue to get worse before it gets any better.

Some scientist say that humans are to blame for this climate change. I don't fully agree with that idea. I think that the world goes through cycles of heating and cooling, although I also don't rule out that the human race is now influencing that cycle with all of the airborne chemicals we have been putting into the atmosphere for the past 100+ years. And frankly, I've put in my fair share of those pollutants.

I've been trying to get better at minimizing my 'carbon footprint' on this earth. I try to drive as little as possible, use less electricity, less plastics and more reusable/sustainable products. After all, this is the only planet we have (I watched that NatGeo show on the universe and there is nothing close to the earth for us to run to). We have gotten to a point in our human evolution that we can easily destroy ourselves, by accident or action.

I am going to continue to do what I can to help our environment survive. I just wish more people and governments believed something is happening instead of turning a blind eye. It shouldn't have to take a enormous number of lives for those people to take action (usually it takes a threat to someones bank account before action is taken).

Occasionally I wonder if there is something to that December 21, 2012 end of calendar.

Not following Standards is very Poor

I don't know if they were really sticking doing what they are supposed to do in the way that they follows their standard practice or not, but Standards & Poor action of downgrading the USA leaves me with pause.

On the one hand I think, well they're just doing what they are supposed to do in giving guidance to investors. On the other hand, they could be just trying to put more pressure on the American government to do what they want the government to do.

My sarcastic thoughts around this though turns to Patriotism. Is it Patriotic to downgrade and endanger your own country like they have? There has been plenty of talk lately around the lack of Patriotism and who is more Patriotic than others. Maybe I'm way off base here tying the financial market and Patriotism together like this but this is the first time this sort of thing has happened. I understand that not to downgrade when it may be required would lay claims to unfair play. Going further though, doesn't it also lend itself to thoughts of treason against ones country to make it so vulnerable? Couldn't we even use the term 'holding the government hostage' until they get what they want thus bringing up the term terrorism?

I'm not going that far down the path. For now I'm only stopping at the selfish zone of trying to take advantage of a situation, manipulate it and get what you want. Maybe it will become the new form of lobbying. I sure hope not.

So there you have it. My thoughts on the subject. Following business standards with a sense of fairness, applying pressure to get what you want, being Un-Patriotic, committing treason or just down right terrorism. Who's to say. One thing we may all be able to agree on is that it certainly doesn't help solve any problems and may just be creating more.

Universal Show

I watched a show on NatGeo, Journey to the Edge of the Universe (best seen in HD). Pretty cool and interesting stuff. However, I had a problem with some of the statements being made. Quite a few statements were made as if they were fact. Statements about things that happened a very long time ago that no one would really know if it was true or not, purely speculation. An example would be the statement made that the dinosaurs were wiped out due to an asteroid hitting the earth. I don't think we actually know that for sure. Speculative information put into the form a statement, as if it was fact, is just wrong. It creates false 'knowledge' that leads to wrong ideas and decisions.

In general though, the information the show was providing is very thought provoking. It got me thinking about the existence of God (any God really, not just a christian one). Some people argue that the existence of the universe is absolute proof for the existence of God (a single God being a more present day idea) since where would it all have come from if not from some supreme being creating it. Something had to create it all, why not call it God.

I sat there watching this show, what it was presenting me with, and started thinking, how could something have actually created the vastness of the universe. It is unimaginably big. How could anything create something so vast that it spreads out over billions of light years? How could we possibly be the only living beings in the universe (the program said that, based on a calculation, there should be millions of other planets with life in some form or another)? Why would we ever think we are the only or the 'created' ones by some God to be watched over, that there is some grand design for us? That would be very, very narrow thinking based on the ultimate size and diversity of the universe.

The idea of a God or gods, to me, is a good thing. It provides hope and meaning to many people, helping to combat thoughts of feudalism. It provides guidelines for living, a goal to achieve, some semblance of order. People need that or utter chaos would prevail. I believe it is what has helped us survive all these years. Here's an interesting thought for non-believers, could mankind have even evolved into a civilization without the idea of a God or gods.

The big question that gets to me is, what is the universe sitting in (or expanding into)? Is there just a never ending expansion of nothingness? Some things we will just never know in our very, very, very short time of existence. Sometimes it even hurts to think about it all.

Since I don't know everything, I have always allowed for the possibility of the existence of some ultimate power or being. If there is/was such a being, it may have given us life but it would have very little to with our lives and all that happens in it. So what it comes down to is that we are because we are and nothing more.

No Compromise

I don't know why, but I am constantly amazed at how the political rhetoric gets spun around these days. Someone in one party will talk about how they need to stand up for what they believe in or what they promised or praise someone like minded who is sticking to their plan or idea or "pledge" and not back down. Then in the next discussion turn around and badmouth someone from the other side for not listening or compromising on their stance or position on a specific topic, for sticking to their plan or idea or "pledge". I guess it's only right when it aligns with your own opinion or belief. Frankly, from the outside, it just seems hypocritical and narrow minded. Maybe that's the way politics is supposed to be. If so, with all this no budging going on, it will be a wonder if anything gets done for the "good" of the people or the country.

Anarchy on the Horizon

Oh, it's coming. All those Sci-Fi movies are right. Elites are starting to make their final push to power and control and the rest of us will be left to fight, kill, steal, plunder just to survive. Why now, you ask? People have thought this for centuries. Because the time is right. World economies are faltering, elites are making power grabs, middle class is at the point of joining the lower class.

It's either all that or my birthday is coming up and I'm feeling that much older and depressed.

New year, new goals to set.

Happy New Year!!

At the beginning of every year, people set new goals or resolutions for themselves. Not only for themselves personally but for their families or in their chosen field of work. I guess it marks a new start to things. Old things that may not have been finished can sometimes just be displaced as never going to happen and new goals can fill the void. It's a way to clean out the closet or the garage or the filing cabinet. Out with the old, in with the new.

I've never been one to really come up with any hard resolutions that I really thought I could stick to. I make the common ones, eat better, exercise more, be more passionate about what I do, write in my blog more. I never even make it through the first day before I've broken most of them. This year I'd like to put together not a resolution list but more of a "bucket list". Things I would like to do this year or get done this year.

Different updates will cover different areas (only because I know I won't be able to think of everything right now and I will come up with others as the days go by). I caught sight of some movie trailers on the Apple website so I will start with movies that will be out this year that I would like to see in the theaters. Others I will just wait until they come out in video.

Movies in the theater:

1. Thor - looks really cool and I'm a sucker for viking tales.

2. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows, Part II - I've seen all of the others so I must see this one.

3. Pirates of the Caribbean

Movies on DVD (not sure all of these will be available on DVD by the end of the year):

1. Season of the Witch

2. The Green Hornet

3. Ong Bak 3 - need to see 1 & 2 first

4. I Am Number Four

5. Rango

6. Red Riding Hood

Next year, The Hobbit, Part I.