Well, mom passed away on the 18th and we buried her on the 21st. It was nice as far as funerals go. I think she would have liked it (aside from the rain and cold). There were a few more people than I thought would have been there. Many of the out of town relatives showed up. Dad held up well during the whole thing.
Mom wasn't a fancy person. She didn't want many things or want to travel much. She was always comfortable being at home. Her early ambitions in life were to be a good wife, a good mother and a good friend. She succeeded at all three.
She was a devoted and loving wife. She only wanted to be with dad all the way up to the end. Even when it became a bit annoying to my dad, she would not want him out of her site for more than five minutes.
Mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's a couple of years ago. She was only 70 years old at the time. During that time she was also diagnosed with MDS, a blood disorder that affected her bodies ability to produce mature red blood cells and platelets. She was getting more and more frequent blood transfusions to keep her blood cell count up.
The Alzheimer's effected her speech the most. It frustrated her at first when she couldn't think of the words she wanted to say. It gradually got worse, saying the wrong words, stuttering. Conversations became short and simple with her; weather, birds, squirrels (she loved animals). Complex conversations as well as talking over the phone were almost impossible. She was anxious all of the time about almost everything. She constantly checked the doors to make sure they were locked. Luckily she only wondered out of the house twice. The neighbors brought her back once. The other time she was just sitting out on the front porch.
As I said, mom loved animals, almost any kind of animal. She could watch the birds, squirrels and chipmunks for hours at the cottage. She was so proud when she got a chipmunk to eat seed out of her hand. She had a couple of dogs growing up and we had a number of cats when I was going up. She watched all kinds of animal shows on TV. She hated the water but got in so that she could be next to a dolphin.
Mom couldn't really cook. She cooked everyday making dinner and having it ready when my dad got home. She just didn't really like to cook and most meals were rather bland with overcooked vegetables. She always made enough to satisfy the hungry boys a the table. I really liked her spaghetti and meatballs, she made the best sauce. She had to change her recipe after my dad was told he needed to change his diet and it was never the same. Although I asked a few times, she never gave me the recipe. Frankly, I think she didn't have it written down anywhere and just knew how to make it. Every Easter she wold make a big batch of perogies, it took all day. They were big and delicious. My grandmother, on my dads side, taught her how to make them. She had to make a few different kinds of Polish dishes for my dad. Not liking most of the dishes herself, she had to be making them out of love for him.
Mom hated the water. I asked my dad why and he said he didn't know, other than she did not like to go in it and only got in above her knees a couple of times in her life. I don't think she liked to wear bathing suits either as I can't remember her in one more than a couple of times.
Mom used to smoke until one of her lungs partially collapsed and had to be be removed (the collapsed part). Then she stopped. I remember once she was on our front porch smoking and talking with a neighbor. My brother and I had just come back from playing out in the woods. She noticed he had a tick and she used the lit end of her cigarette to help remove it from his head (heat makes them release their grip she said). She had all kinds of home remedies for things. After quitting, she took up snacking and got a bit heavy. She absolutely hated that. She took up crocheting to keep her hands busy. She crocheted all kinds of things, mostly throw blankets. She would sit in her chair watching TV and crochet most nights.
She hated going to the doctor, must be where I got it from, even before she got sick. She never really got regular check-ups. She rarely went to the dentist unless her teeth really bothered her. She thought it was great when she got dentures, she wouldn't need to go to the dentist as often.
Mom liked to think of herself as a good disciplinarian. She had her wooden spoon that she always threatened to hit us with if we didn't listen or do what she wanted us to do. I never really remember getting hit with that spoon but she always had it handy. When my brother and I came home all covered in mud, she made us strip down to our under ware in front of my younger sister before going into the house, embarrassing.
Mom worked at JCPenny's in the returns department. She loved that job. She was able to see what was coming back to the store and go through it looking for good items to purchase at the return, company employee, discount. Some stuff wasn't really worth getting but she just couldn't pass up the great bargain. I think she really enjoyed bringing home some money, even though most of it went right back to the store.
She was a good mother. She kept us fed, clothed and on track with all of our activities. She had been playing the part of mother for most of her life ever since her own mom died. She ended up having to take care of her two younger brothers while going to school and after getting married. She never went to college, I'm not sure she really wanted to.
I never really talked to my mom about her dreams and aspirations growing up. It need really crossed my mind. She always just seemed like she was content living the life she was and really didn't need much of anything else.
Thanks for being there and for all you did for us kids. It was always good to know that you were there and that we could always count on you. I never said it enough but I love you.
